I am sitting here quietly thinking, "What can I say about the young girl my mother, Dora, used to talk to on the stall at Queen's Road Market all those years ago? she would spend hours telling her about her young handsome debonair son who was helping to build up the fledgling state of Israel.Can I really have known her for over fifty years?" We have been married for 48 years - our Golden wedding will be in April 2008. First Naches (joy) came from our children and now even more so from the next generation, Jed and Dora. If only our parents were still here to see them. Sometimes I look at Jean and see her mother, Sarah, sitting there.

There are so many memories from across the years that it would be difficult to know where to start. Certainly we have come a long way together - from Forest Gate to Kenton via Wimbledon and Mitcham. And of course many enjoyable years spent holidaying down in Cliftonville, first in the house on Avenue Gardens and then staying in the flat on Beresford Gardens, and latterly down in Cornwall.

I admit that learning to say ‘yes dear’ has sometimes proved to be a good tip for a quiet life. But I have always been proud of all that she did in the many jobs of her younger days and thought that Jean deserves huge admiration for her busy life and how much she has achieved. But she always has time to put the family first and dotes on her grandchildren. She is still very independent, but doesn't mind a lift home from all her engagements from an ex - cabbie! I'm not even averse to a night at the theatre myself with Jean, once in a while, as long as it's a nice old fashioned musical or a bit of G&S.

So, happy birthday to my wife. And, as they say in the bible, may you live to be 120.

Alec

10 Things I love about my Sabta:

1. The unsuccessful slipper hunts

2. Hunting for bugs

3. Watching me play football even when its cold and wet

4. PRESENTS!!!!

5. The nice way I am nagged to get off the Play station and TV

6. The way she does not mind when I prefer to play with my mates

7. A great reader of stories

8. Treats me to the best seats for all the good shows

9. Her in-depth knowledge of the London football scene, at least me and Sabta understand that West Ham are the best

10. The way that she never ever shouts at Saba

The only trouble is she keeps trying to kiss me………………..alright as it’s your birthday xxxxxxxxxx

Sabta!!!  Apple.  Water.  Up.  Down.  Ant.  Bee.  Cheese.  No.  Two.  Nine.  Saba.  Bear.  Moo.  Baa.  Neigh.  Bye bye  (wave, blow kiss)

Dora   xxx

Jean sometime ago sent me a photo of herself in a frame with these words, and it is certainly true and precious to me, but it wasn’t always so!! At 4 years old, I rather resented this little thing – she wasn’t the doll I wanted to play with, and took up too much of my parent’s time. A very early memory is of Jean in a push chair on Canvey Island, pushed by her beloved Mrs Hay, with me holding on, but obviously not going far as Jean had her feet firmly on the ground, with a look that said, ‘we’ll go on when I want to!’

However as the years went by and through our years evacuated to Oxford, we did get closer and by the time she was also old enough to wear stockings (like her elder sister), I like to think any resentment or jealousy on either side has passed and for many years now we are not only sisters, but also very good friends. We enjoy each others company, whether it be at the theatre, on holiday together, being with our families and not forgetting of course our weekly dissection of the Archers!

I have enormous admiration for her and am so very proud of what she has achieved through her working life and busy as she is, she always has time for our daily (or more) chats and I’m so grateful for the support she and Alec gave to me and my children during a difficult period in our lives.

Thank you Jean, we have shared so much together during your 70 years, we were particularly blessed with our parents who instilled in us a sense of family love and responsibility and long may this continue – even if we disagree about the EU!!

In fact we also include cuttings from other sources or entire magazines. Jean passes on her copies of “Private Eye” and often a copy of “Searchlight” dedicated to exposing the doings and writings of fascist groups in the UK and Europe with their Anti-Semitic and racist poison. She has also always sent us magazines and newsletters connected with her work: in the past it was Arthritis Care and currently Brent Primary Care Trust of which she is chairperson. She also passes on cuttings from her publisher friend Ernest Hecht who has just celebrated this year the 60th anniversary of the founding of his company Souvenir Press. His cuttings are often about the book trade or the theatre for which Jean, Helen and I also share a passion. On our side we send cuttings from Jewish Renaissance—a very good cultural and arts magazine—and occasionally I put in a cutting from The Friend, the Quaker Weekly, which is posted to me. Currently I am taking a trial subscription of The New Statesman—the political and cultural weekly—for 6 weeks for £1, and the copies are being passed on to Jean.

I write comments on many cuttings for example ‘very interesting’ or ‘most insightful’ or longer comments or even questions, which sometimes Jean answers on the phone or by email. Jean also comments but then I am up against Jean’s often indecipherable handwriting, although I have to confess mine is also often difficult to read! Also I sometimes forget to cut out the chosen article and so have to rush to our garage and seek the newspaper out before all newspapers are put out on Mondays for the bin men. I also have to remember that Jean takes The Guardian on Wednesday and there have been occasions when something has been carefully cut out and then before it reaches Jean’s envelope I recall the day it is and bin the particular article.

Finally this ritual in its 22nd year has proved to be most rewarding with all kinds of insights about politics and the arts. I know Jean is a great opera buff and music lover so I keep an eye open for articles about these two areas. Likewise Jean knows I am great visitor of art galleries and sends me pieces about art exhibitions. We also on both sides always note humour and satire as we like to have a real laugh amidst the seriousness of politics and the suffering in the world. We wonder how many other people exchange cuttings like this on a regular basis. Long may it continue! Finally let me say a word about the two sisters seen through a brother-in-law’s eyes. Everybody is aware that Jean and Helen have a close relationship, but I experience the closeness continually and at close hand. They ring each other up daily and often twice a day and at weekends it can 4, 5, 6 times on both Saturday and Sunday. It is not just discussions about the Archers but also about the news and the latest about relatives and friends. And what is more they talk at length. If we go to the theatre together, which we often do, there is always the call after we have got back both about the arduousness of the return journey on public transport and second opinions about what they have seen. Jean especially will ring when she is waiting for a few minutes for a train at a tube or railway station or is killing time at an airport. On holiday the sisters maintain contact despite all distance, and they are quite inseparable. Sometimes they get angry with each other and the phone is slammed down, but they never remain aggrieved for very long as there is always so much they have to say to each other. There is a lot of laughter in their phone conversation. The fact is they have a great deal in common regarding mutual interests and there is so much love and affection which is a delight to behold. Long may their closeness continue!

Eric

Of course, I see Jean from two distances away, so my words below might seem irrelevant to her or to other celebrants of her 70th birthday and forthcoming retirement ( which I doubt will ever take place).

The first distance is temporal. I come from what is in effect a different generation in terms of the hectic speed of social change and especially of social attitudes. And as such, I see Jean as someone who broke through the glass ceiling whereby women were “kept in their place”. Today, women fill important roles in society, and her successful career in so many fields is abundant proof that she has played a significant role in this development.

The second distance is spatial. She and Alec live in England, the country Yael and I left 53 years ago, a country which, despite its victory over the evil represented by Nazi Germany, was still encumbered then by its traditional “gentlemanly” Anti-Semitism that represented another form of “glass ceiling”. I see her as someone who also broke through this glass ceiling. The ten years separating us could be a reason for her perhaps not experiencing any such ceiling, but I also see her proven intellectual abilities and successful organizational skills as making any such ceiling inappropriate or irrelevant to her. She came from what is called these days an “ethnic minority”, a typical Jewish lower- middleclass family in the outer reaches of the East End and has succeeded in reaching the topmost levels of society.

However, what was also admirable and impressive was Jean and Alec’s work on behalf of the Jewish refuseniks in Soviet Russia, including their visits to the USSR and their public advocacy of their plight. There are many Russian immigrants in Israel who owe them a great deal for their help in different ways.

And another achievement was her educational determination. She and Alec raised a family, worked hard in their professions – and, at the same time, she also pulled herself up academically by her own bootstraps, studied and attained her bachelor’s and master’s degrees, teaching in further education and also authoring professional texts and papers on sociology subjects.

With love and admiration

Ray

I expect all your work associates have extolled your terrific management skills, your ability to chair meetings and, in simpler English, your fantastic ability to get things done.

I want to say how much I appreciate your listening ear and supporting attitude. Throughout the years of our close family relationship, it has always been good to know that “Jean is always there if you need her, with good advice and friendly cheer”. Well of course you’re always there, but in times of trouble you’re the person one instinctively turns to, knowing that help is at hand.

With love and best wishes from the first Jean Gaffin.

My mother-in-law is more argumentative about football then either Alec or Mike.

She also tells me all the gossip about Harrow Magistrates Court and the solicitors who appear before her (those who are good and those who aren't). She then panics and tells me not to tell anyone that she has told me.

One final thing: before marrying Rachel, I was favoured over Mike at mealtimes in terms of being served first and amount of food. Since marrying your daughter, and giving you a wonderful granddaughter, I've noticed that this is no longer the case - please take note!

Jean - have a wonderful birthday and, in all seriousness, I couldn't have asked for a better mother-in-law.

With love.

Mark Fidler

(Jean's beloved and favourite son-in-law)

Leah

PS Just to remind you that I'm still waiting for the boat you owe me - remember you sunk it at Margate!!

If you need tickets to the play the same day

Or somewhere to stay without loosing a day

There she is all ready at the say

Amazing how she can sway

When you look at what she has in her day

A most hard working person every day.

She cares about others all day

Never stopping to think of herself till the end of the day

And then OBE and the queen all in one day

Yes Jean, this is your day

We all say thanks to a wonderful lady today

Many happy returns and love from us all, your way.

Translation:
Welcome to the 70 and over club. If the channel separates us, the family heart brings us together. We are the descendants of humanism, universalism, and carrying Judaism for its universal message. This is why we are and will remain young for eternity. Love to you, love to all the family. And very happy birthday.

Jean have a wonderful 70th birthday and we wish you a healthy and very happy retirement. With love.

Have a wonderful, Wonderful birthday surprise. I'll be in the States, but I'll raise a glass of something really nice to you from over there.  XXX and a big warm hug for you.

Judith (Stanton), Mark and the girls

We have known Jean for most of her 70 years. We first met Jean when I used to stay in Forest Gate before Helen came to Israel, then when she came as a young innocent to visit Helen. Later Alec came into the picture, and they came to visit us in Preston on their honeymoon. Then we used to go to Cliftonville for holidays, and we have many memories of those years, amongst many of jam making in the rented bungalow you had.

The years have passed and Jean in now catching up with us - age-wise. Incidentally, whilst Helen was in Israel I went to visit Jean's great aunt in the West End, before going to the theatre, and there we found out that we are almost related - on Aubrey's side. Love and best wishes to you all,

A very very wonderful leader and facilitator who I am thrilled to have as a friend.

When I was asked to joint the lit lunches I was somewhat frightened by the cast list, but they are now special friends with whom books are discussed as well as friendships strengthened.( I realise Daphne will need to tidy up that English!). Have a really wonderful day and masses of love

Tom and I have known you and Alec for a quarter of a century, exactly. It was in 1981 that Tom met you on that ship and shortly thereafter I had the privilege of beginning our acquaintanceship, too.

Whenever I think of England I think of you.

We have wonderful memories: staying with you, touring with you, dining with you, just sitting and talking with you. I’ll never forget my faux pas when I first was at your home and complimented you on your yard. Horrors! I hadn’t known that it should be “garden,” as we call our lawns/gardens “yards.” Anyway, once that was resolved and you accepted my abject apology we continued peacefully hanging the laundry in the garden. Ever since that experience, however, I have always spoken of my garden. No more yards for us.

I remember your bookshelves piled high; your tiny home office; your delicious lamb dinners; I am in awe of your intelligence and energy; I think of your extremely busy life and all your many accomplishments.

Now, of course, you are the proud (very proud) grandmother of a gorgeous granddaughter and wonderful grandson, as well as the proud mom of beautiful Rachel and handsome Mike. You and Alec are fine parents and have raised two upright, brilliant, and thoughtful children. Congratulations.

And congratulations, Jean, on the many honors you have received and the important work you have done and continue to do.

We are proud to know you, and wish you a glorious 70th birthday! May this be a special time of acknowledgement for you, with many, many more years of happiness to come. Love

A for arthritis
B for bad back
C is for chest pains. Perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline
E is for eyesight--can't read that top line
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention)
H high blood pressure [I'd rather have low)
I for incisions with scars you can show
J is for joints, that now fail to flex
L for libido--what happened to sex?
Wait! I forgot about K!
K is for my knees that crack when they're bent (Please forgive me, my Memory ain't worth a cent)
N for neurosis, pinched nerves and stiff neck
O is for osteo-and all bones that crack
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few Give me another pill; I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasiness. Fatal or flu?
R is for reflux--one meal turns into two
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears
T for tinnitus--I hear bells in my ears
U is for urinary: difficulties with flow
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy", you know. W is worry, now what's going 'round?
X is for X ray--and what might be found
Y for another year I've left behind
Z is for zest that I still have my mind
Have survived all the symptoms my body's deployed, And kept twenty-six doctors gainfully employed!!!

We send this with love and all good wishes for happy & healthy years ahead.

(My daughter says that she also makes the very best apple crumbles !)

What I am sure of is that the World would be a much better place if there were more people around like Jean.

Much love on your 70th birthday. Have a wonderful day.

With our love and best wishes

And then we had such nice times together, on the few occasions when I managed to come to the UK. Indeed Jean has continued to be one of the reasons I come there, even if not often enough.

Hey, seventy (which I turned a year ago) is the new fifty. We still have time for many more nice times together.

And here is the Woman with a Basket to wish you a happy birthday and a wonderful celebration.

Love, Naomi

Naomi Black

It was two weeks to go before Mike and Anna’s wedding and although Jean already had her outfit, she suddenly had second thoughts that it might not be suitable (whoever thought the groom’s mother got the jitters before the big day?) so would I take her to Mill Hill to look at clothes. Of course I would. As you all know Jean passed her driving test, but sadly she wasn’t at all happy with roundabouts – north west London has an over-abundance of these.

We spent a pleasant afternoon looking at and trying on clothes, and returned back at 509 in time for tea. Jean was empty handed, but I’d managed to buy something, even though that was not the purpose of the exercise. Jean then showed me the outfit she had in the wardrobe awaiting the big day, and it was lovely and absolutely perfect.

I’ve never been called upon again for help, although now in the age of Emails/Internet/ Broadband, Ivor is in constant demand!

Jean, we think you are one amazing lady, and it has been a pleasure and a privilege to be included as one of your many, many friends.

With much love on your 70th birthday, and with all good wishes for health and happiness bis 120.

As you have now reached the age of discretion, perhaps you will now less frequently sort out luvvies in theatres telling them what to do, or what they didn't do - or perhaps not. Either way, I'll look forward to many more such evenings to enjoy. Have a great day, many happy returns and lots of love.

Now I can say what a kind, caring person you are and thank you for all your support.

Happy 70th Birthday, Good health & lots of happiness with Alec. With Love.

times and hard times thanks for being there for us all.

My first encounter with Habonim was at Sutton Shul on Sunday afternoons, where Jean and Alec – my Madrichim – were to teach me all the valuable lessons of life yet to come. Right from the start they were friends…. mates.. to all of us kids.

Who else would have taught us innocent fourteen year-olds to drink, smoke and tell us the dirtiest of jokes (explaining most of them as well) whilst our parents were confident we were in the charge of responsible “grown-ups”?

This utopia came to an end when Jean noticed a swelling in the southern region, which some seven or so months later was to be Mike’s emergence to this world.

Skip forward to the 1970’s when we met them in Kenton at a Shul do – Like me, they had emigrated across the river and had moved to Kenton - we were re-united. By now Mike had a younger sister – Rachel, I had a missus – Joan and the friendship was re-kindled and burns very brightly now.

As well as sharing a love for Israel we have also shared happy and sad times together at Hammerson House and who knows….maybe more happy times to come there!!

Happy birthday! How lovely to be 70 years young.

You are simply one of the most amazing people we know. You have time for everyone, your kindness knows no bounds and you contribute more to the good of the general community than anyone we know. If only there were more like you, we would live in a better place.

And then there is your family, whom you cherish and who cherish you.

May life go on rewarding you with many more happy years with Alec, Rachel and Michael and their lovely families, and all the wider family.

Together with Shirley and Robert we faced the world of management with good humour and in good company. Your organisational genius fortunately is not confined to helping great groups of people, but you are also brilliant at planning theatre outings and actually buying theatre tickets for friends. What is so special about our friendship is that it has a back story which pre-dates the eighties and goes back to our Theatre Workshop days - mine from 1945 and yours a lot later. It's as though we were destined to get together eventually and I'm so glad we did.

You've been a source of good advice, valuable support and, above all, much shared fun and laughter.

I enjoy the theatre with you more than with anyone else and I value most the times we've agreed to walk out before the end... best of all was 'Children of Eden' when your remarks as we exited into Old Compton Street were not appreciated.

Have a great birthday and I hope we have many more laughs together.

Over the past few years we have normally visited the U.K. every year.

One of the highlights of these visits has always been the outing we have had with Jean, Alec and our mutual friends, Marilyn & Monty. These evenings have left us with some very pleasant memories and we look forward to many future reunions together. We hope you, Jean enjoyed these evenings as much as we did.

May you have lots of joy and happiness from your children and grandchildren.

And May this be the happiest period of your life.

Back in the October 1974 general election campaign when Jean was the Labour candidate in Streatham, I was a willing party worker - just liberated from the bondage of accountancy and about to read for the Bar. Jean was an inspirational candidate. Her laugh, smile and enthusiasm live with me now! I was a blood donor as was Jean. She decided that giving blood presented a photo opportunity in that important organ "THE STREATHAM NEWS". And so it was that one autumn afternoon Jean and I attended the Congregational Church next to the Streatham Bus Garage for a blood donor session. Jean was snapped lying on the bed as the blood flowed out of her veins. I wasn't far off on another bed. Everyone, doctors, nurses, donors, journalist and photographer, thoroughly enjoyed Jean's visit. What a pity the electorate wasn't far sighted enough to send such a wonderful person to Westminster!

PS I didnt go into politics (except for politicking in the C of E) - I am the Office of Fair Trading's legal adviser.

We met over thirty years ago (I met you before I met Jean) through your passion and commitment to help Jews in Russia leave the USSR. You supported so many families such as the Taratutas who today live in Israel. They owe their freedom to you and people like you.

You are one of life’s givers and contributors. Not only to your family and friends, but to the community around you. So many have benefited from your efforts to make the world a better place. There are few who can look at themselves in the mirror each morning and say that.

We are privileged to be your friends and to have been the recipients of your kindness and hospitality all these years.

But don't misunderstand me. Being an encouraging boss does not mean she was a slack one. Jean really pushed you too. The achievements of friends like Kate Nash - now director of RADAR - are in no small part down to Jean. She believed in us - I think! - but we had to keep proving it too and that's not actually a bad thing.

When Jean took over Arthritis Care it was an old-fashioned, philanthropic organisation run on quasi-military lines. When she left it was fully-functioning member of the modern voluntary sector. That takes some talent. The fact that very few people had stormed out on the way suggests she was no bad diplomat either.

Jean you are wonderful and have inspired not just me, but a host of others too.

I love you, my friend.

Jean, have a great day even if you want to pretend it's your 70th birthday (and you can have your 50th in secret later in the week and we won't tell anyone) !!

With all our love, admiration and respect.

Remember me? You probably don't. At the Scrubs you were known as "Hangthem High Gaffin". I've heard on the grapevine, otherwise known as Jimmy "the world wide web" Jackson, that you are about to celebrate your 70th. When I was told this information I thought Jimmy meant the 70th time you had imposed a Community Punishment Order. However, I understand that it is in fact your 70th birthday - Halleluyah. The boys down the punishment block at the Scrubs can rest easy as we all know that this means you will be retiring from the Bench. Anyway, I would just like to say that there are no hard feelings from me, despite the fact that after the last time you sent me down, my wife ran off with my Brief! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAAM .

Yours, 

P.S By the way, Columbian Pedro, who's still in solitary, wants to know why you haven't sent him any salmon cutlets recently. You know, the ones with the special ingredient, if you know what I mean!!

But we feel your greatest accomplishment todate was providing Mark with a lovely wife! But your poor son-in-law has been left out in the wilderness. With such an amazing and loving mother-in-law how can he ever talk about you in that 'Les Dawson' manner and be believed.

We hold you in the highest esteem and with the greatest love. And it’s a pleasure to serve you the fried fish.

I thought I would send you a short nostalgic message to add to your site. I remember the first time you and Rachel turned up at the front door of number 46 The Ridgeway to introduce us to each other. Since then, we had many school lunchtimes at your house as I watched Rachel consume her baked beans on toast and marveled at the number of books in your dining room, several sleepovers in your front lounge while we (Eli, Diana, Mary, me and Rachel) chatted and giggled through the night, and many times where we have met since at your house... most recently when I visited with my twins and my parents.

Despite having lived in Australia for nearly 14 years, I strongly value my friendships back home and value those times when we were together as kids. Thank you for always being so welcoming, so good to talk to and so genuinely interested in what I was doing, my career path, my studies and my family. I hope you have a wonderful day being 21 again and take time to relax a little! Much love.

Can't bake you a cake

Can't offer a birthday kiss

Or hug

Can't come to a party

Can't bring a bottle of fizz (or keep it cool)

I CAN send greetings to a marvelous Section Pres, who did not hold back in teaching me all she knew -

Who led from the front

Who stood by when I made mistakes

Who raised the status of the Section

Who set things up for the next but one

Who backed up like mad when I was Pres and looks like doing much the same again.

So all I can do is wish you another

HAPPY 70 YEARS, love

Story 2: After long futile attempts to find a space in Jean’s diary to have lunch, she sent me a cartoon showing a man on a phone, with the strap line “How about never, is never a good time for you?”. It remained on my pin board for many a long year. Jean is the busiest person most of us will ever know, but perhaps after next year???

Love and all good wishes to a very dear friend.

I have always valued the things we have had in common, such as support for CND, interest in feminist history and politics, and academic experience. But I have also greatly admired your public career in running major medical charities, as a magistrate and most recently as chair of your local primary care trust. I remember as well the time you stood as a Labour parliamentary candidate and I cam down briefly to help in the office.

I also value the more personal times together, at Covent Garden or the National Theatre, or meeting for tea in London when I've been in libraries and you have been at some important meeting. I'm glad that although are paths have diverged we have always kept in touch.

My sister Fay, who got to know you back in the 1960s, and who is still in Zambia teaching gender studies and running a small publishing company, also sends her greetings and best wishes.

After all your hard work for the wider community, hope you soon have more time for fun and to spend with your family.

Have a wonderful birthday.

click here to find out more about Jean's professional achievements